The things I am thankful for......
- My husband has a stable job that is able to provide adquate food, gas for our cars, occasional clothes for Jesse and I, clothes and toys for Jacob, a roof over our head, we both have cell phones, cable tv and internet. In all reality we are stuggling but we are not as bad off as I would have people blieve. Yes, we have debt up the wazoo. And they will get their money when they get it. But by the grace of God, we are surviving, and amazingly well.
- My son sleeps through the night. I am blessed to get plenty of sleep at night. Along with naps during the day if I so wish. I know for having a 7 month old that this is very special. And yet he wakes up at 7:30 in the morning and I complain that its too early. Rather than spend that extra time with my son.
- My little boy is happy. And I don't deserve it. I spend more time on the computer while he plays on the floor than I spend reading to him or playing with him. How selfish is that?? And then I complain about being bored! I have this amazing little boy infront of me and I am bored??? How can that be?? It is my own fault. And yet he loves me more than anything. He smiles at me, giggles when I pick him up, loves on me before bed, and wants to cuddle when he is tired.
- My husband treats me very well. He sleeps on the couch so I can get a good night's sleep. He gets up with the baby in middle of the night and takes over his care when he gets home from work. As much as he likes coming home to a clean house, its not the end of the world if it doens't happen. He spends his days at work and his evenings working side jobs or taking care of the baby, and he cooks dinner most nights. I spend my days watching tv, playing on the computer, napping and half heartedly taking care of the baby. Sometimes I do manage to slip in laundry and cleaning.
- I have many friends who love and support me.
Since I can realize all of this now (thanks to a few friends, who without knowing it have helped me to realize this) and do something about it. I have been lacking in my faith in God. Thinking I can do this all on my own. I can't. I have always felt better when that has been a focus in my life and yet I've been doing just the opposite. Unkind words about others (I do know that this can not always be helped), being selfish with myself and my time, just not being me. I rarely attend church but I am a big girl and know how to read. Its not that hard to pull out my old children's bible and read a story to my son. Its not that hard to pull out my bible and read many of the verses that I have underlined. I say this all now, but the true test will be putting it into practice.
This all being said, I am putting this whole car thing (to be explained in a moment*) into God's hands, Jesse and I have done what we can to contact the young lady.
*Back in June we sold Jesse's Mercury Cougar to this young lady. The deal was that she would make the payments to us and we would in turn make them to the bank (which the bank was okay with). And so far she has been current on her payments. However, we got a notice the other day that there was no insurance on the car. So Jesse called the number that we had for her insurance and it was cancled the 19th of this month. We tried to get a hold of her and no one has heard from her or seen her in awhile. So we told them that if she calls she needs to call or email us. I've myspaced her as well and we have emailed her. I went ahead and put our insurance back on the car so its covered. But now we wait and see. We can't afford car insurance for three cars AND two car payments.
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